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Bitch Slave's Journal

Thoughts and Comments from a Loved Slave

slave life

What Will Kill Most Master/Slave Relationships

August 5, 2018 by Bitch Slave 2 Comments

As I am allowed back online, getting caught up on life and what all I may have missed the last month (and it seems to be a lot!), several new readers sent me emails that say the same thing I hear a lot from other Master’s or slaves and submissives.

Some people are a little intimidated about what I write or what I say online.  That my life is “Too extreme” compared to where they are and they may have a little fear in reading my posts.

This should not be a problem or an issue. I realize that my life is a little more than most people can handle and what all I do to please my Owner is what 99% of other slaves would never do for their Masters.  This is how I live and it is not something I started out as or even dreamed of becoming this serious in being a slave to my Owner.

We each come to this lifestyle from a different place, a different journey and we are all still figuring it out (or should be). Nobody lives the same life, we each make it our own.

When I met my Owner, He made it clear from day one: Truth and honesty. He will never lie to me. He may not tell me everything, but what he does tell me will be the honest truth.  As an Owner, why would he lie? He has no reason to.

Real Life Versus Our LIfe

The one big killer in all my previous Master/slave relationships was reality.  That men want to be Masters. They want a slave. But in real life, they succumb to the pressures of the real world, the reality of feminism in our lives.  They feel the need to be equal.  To not hurt us or that maybe we really don’t want to be 100% slaves.  How can we be?

I had a great Master once that lied to me. He went out on a date with a hot redhead from His office. Telling me He was out with the boys at a bar and spent the night drinking.

Why did He lie to me? Because He thought I would be hurt by the truth.  Well, Yes!  I would be hurt to know you had sex with a hot Redhead and not me.  But that was my problem. He was supposed to be my Master. Either tell me the truth or don’t tell me anything. But don’t lie to me.

Being a Slave

I’m supposed to be your slave, so treat me as your slave.  He felt the pressure of life and how men are being raised as whimps because they feel the need to protect us and be our equal, even when we scream that we don’t want that. It’s our decision.

When I met my Owner, He told me straight out, He will fuck real women as well as His slave. He may or may not tell me. As His slave, I am on a need to know basis.  As my Owner, He would decide what I needed to know and what I didn’t need to know.  I was there to serve.

My new found Dom, now my Owner, also told me He would hurt me but would not harm me as His slave.  As my Owner, He would protect me and keep me safe, that was his job. My job was to serve.

Being Honest is Not Easy

When I first knelt at His feet, I had a long list of things I thought I would never do, didn’t want anyone to do to me or things I thought I could never handle.

But over time, He proved I could trust Him with my life. I knew I was safe in His arms and in His commands. He slowly brought down my walls and I learned that what I thought were “Hell No” items, were just things I feared for no reason.

It was not overnight. It was weeks and years and still we are learning where we each have limits.

I realize the real world here and that there are some really sick bastards out there that are looking for an easy mark and think any girl who says she is a “submissive” will make a great victim.  So yes, we females have to have our guard up when we start dating. But you need at some point to make the decision to let it down.

Its when we start to realize that this man is the real thing, that we need to start putting that guard down and start trusting Him.  Afterall, we want Him to be the man who uses us for His pleasures and maybe our pain.  Being free of secrets makes that experience more personal, deeper and enjoyable.

By letting Him see the real us, it will hopefully motivate Him to put His guard down. This is also a great test of trust. A sign to either continue the dating or make a break for the exit now rather than later after you invest a few years of trying to “make it work”.

You don’t tell him all your secret fantasies and family issues right off the bat.  But you do let Him in your life a little more each day.

That first night, Master-Sir asked me 100’s of questions and I asked Him the same.  He learned more about me over the next week than almost anyone else but my family. He knew my entire life by the time I left His house.

I never had that deep of communication with any previous man I dated or was in a Master-slave relationship with.  We always had the guard up and held some secrets close to our chest. I feel that is the big reason so many of my past relationships failed.

To be truly happy in a Master-slave relationship, there has to trust that is deep and honest. You need to be able to trust this man with your life.  Once you have that trust, new worlds open up and new opportunities present themselves.

Master-Sir and I still talk every day about anything and everything. Trusting Him with my life, becoming a no limit slave has made me feel free like never before!!

We text, call or face to face talks every single day. He will send me a text just to say hello and to pinch my nipple for Him. Reminding me He owns my body and knows I will do it for Him.

Yes, He fucks other women. Actually, in my terms, I am His slave, I am property, not really a woman or a wife. So He fucks real beautiful women because He can and should. I am His slave and my holes will be used by people He tells me to serve.  He doesn’t have to use me for sex,  when He does, often times I know its just a quick fuck because no real pussy is available or the lady He is dating doesn’t like anal sex. So He will use my ass for His abuse and use.

I did not start being His morning urinal until five years ago. It was one of my “hell no” points. Now I feel I need to have that every morning. When He travels and I am not there for my morning drink, as much as I hate the taste of it, I still want it.  But it was years after we became Master/slave that He started making me do it.

I have not slept in my Owner’s bed or in His bedroom for almost a week now.  The Pretty Brunette has been here and she locks me in my room each night after they are done using me.

That is something relatively new as well. For me not to be that close to my Owner at night for this long of a time except when He is traveling for work.  But I enjoy the humiliation and the verbal abuse she has learned to use for our play.  I know He is happy with her in His bed knowing I am safely locked away until needed.

Not sleeping with Him or near Him was almost unbearable a little while ago. But I know He likes His time with her and I know she likes abusing me that way. It pleases them so it pleases me. But it took years of tiny steps to be able to not have a complete emotional breakdown because of it.

Being His slave and what others call a cuckquean, I now enjoy watching Him have hot, passionate sex with a beautiful woman. Then call me onto the bed to lick His cum from her pussy after I have sucked His limp cock clean.

When I talk with other submissives that want to know what makes our relationship so unique and special, its because we have no secrets. We talk. I also know my place, it’s at His feet. I give Him no reason to lie to me because He knows I am a slave, His slave.  So be honest with me.

I will chat with a submissive or slave for a while and it comes out “he doesn’t know this, but…”  There is the problem. We all have secrets.  If this is the man you have pledged your life to, why is it a secret He doesn’t know? Tell Him.

Please Talk

My one request when people ask me for advice on having a Master/slave relationship is for them to talk.

For them to know the relationship will grow and change. That what you like, love, hate or don’t understand know, is not what you will love or hate 5 years from now.  Don’t expect it all to happen right now, this week or this year.

What doesn’t grow, dies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Updates Tagged With: cuckquean, limits, slave life, urinal

The Appliance that I am

June 2, 2015 by Bitch Slave Leave a Comment

A very good Fetlife friend of mine made a comment and a post about me that made me stop, think, agree and ponder a little more on it. When I made the post about Picking Up Miss Evvy, my friend made the comment, and what I call a compliment, that Miss Evvy now sees me not as another woman or even as a female, that she sees and uses me as she would an appliance.  His words were: “she now considers you a useful appliance.”

When I first read that, I had to smile. Because my friend was so right.  And if i had to think about it too much, i would have to say that is just how I want her to see me.  Not as a female she must contend with or have to work around.  I want her and anyone else that uses me to see me as nothing more than a useful appliance. I am there to be used as directed.  Nothing more.  If I am being used as I have been trained and for what I love to be used for, I will be very pleasing, happy and reward you with excellent service.  It is what pleases me.

I know some of you are sitting back in your reading chair wondering just how brain damaged can I be for wanting to be used like a common household appliance and nothing more?  But let’s be a little more realistic here and consider the situation.

I am saying i want people who I am entrusted to, to use me for what they need to be done or what i have been loaned to them for.  I’m not looking for or wanting to be liked, loved or pampered. I am looking for them to enjoy the services I am ordered to perform.  To be of service to them and make them happy.  When they use me in that way, I am happy and deliver on my promise to be happy and to serve you the best that I am able to.

I am a slave, a useful piece of property to make you happy.  Not to love me, romance me or treat me as an equal.  That turns me off.  You have been told that I am a slave to my Owner and that is the role I am fulfilling.  So please use me for what I have been told to be to you. A slave. Or an appliance.

Tell me what you want, when I am making you happy.  tell me I am doing good or correct me when i am failing you.  But just use me as you have been allowed.

Don’t ask me if I am ok? Is this too much or am I feeling ok?  Am I being too Rough?  or any other questions that make me feel like you are worried that as a woman, I may not be able to complete the task or that maybe it’s too much for me.   if it is, I will ask permission to fix the problem.  Please do not patronize me or treat me as your wife, girlfriend or other people. I am none of those. I am a slave sent to perform a task for you and I will do what I am told to do and make sure you enjoy what I am doing for you. Sex, household or other services.

Trust in the fact that I am happy hearing that you told my Owner that you are pleased with my services.  When you are done with me, I will be happy and smiling and ready to leave.  Nothing more to think about. Nothing more for you to worry about.

Now to be more real and honest, i could not live like that 24/7. I do enjoy the role of a slave being used, I enjoy feeling used, needed and pleased.  But i could not handle that cold, distant life for very long.  A few hours, maybe a day at most.

If I did not hear the voice of my Owner, His soft touch, and his luscious kiss at least once a day, i would die. or commit random acts of unforgivable bitchiness on something or someone. It would not be pretty and I would probably lose my slave status, if not create long jail time for myself.

What people don’t see and maybe i don’t comment on it enough, are those moments when my Owner does what he does to ground me to reality.  The hugs, the kisses, the snuggles and the love He radiates.

Like last night.  Miss Evvy is off on her business trips and Master-Sir and I were home alone. He was watching some game on TV, talking on the phone or just vegging out.  He allowed me to sit on the couch beside Him and put my head in His lap while He played with my nipples.  No words were spoken and I soon fell asleep from the softness of the moment and being allowed to just relax.

After a while, He woke me up, told me to do my chores, gave me a big kiss and went upstairs to bed.  I did as He told me to do then followed shortly afterward.

As always now, I stopped at the doorway to the Master bedroom, requested permission to come in and He allowed me to.  Master-Sir even allowed me into His bed and we curled up for the night.  No sex, no use, no abuse.  What we did have was some sweet pillow talk.  Some hugging and kissing.  Then sleep.

So there is a happy balance to it all.  When I am serving Miss Evvy or I am loaned to another, I want them to use me for their purposes. I don’t want to be an equal or even a person. I want to be that appliance.  To serve my purpose without them having to worry about feelings, emotions or conflicts. I am there for those few minutes or hours to serve to make them happy so that my Owner, my lover is happy.

Your Thoughts??

Filed Under: Updates Tagged With: Miss Evvy, slave life

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