When I had completed my 10 days of service, my Owner noted that I had changed somehow and asked me about it. Not really sure what He meant. To me, there was no change. He told me to go and serve and I served to the best of my ability. I did everything I was told to do to make Him happy by making them happy. How did I change?
Later, I was chatting with a sub friend who was about to be loaned out for her first time. At the same time, I was given a spa treatment as a reward for my good service to the frat pack. The two together had me thinking that maybe I had changed.
See, when I was explaining to the new sub that the mental aspects of serving at the command of your Master and being loaned as a slave are different when compared to a vanilla relationship where you get to chose who you serve and who you have sex with.
Plus, if your Master is not mentally prepared for what happens when He loans you out, things can go bad quickly. Took me a while to realize that being loaned is really a mental game on both the slave as well as on her owner. A mind fuck for both of us!
Laying in the Hamas at the spa, I started to think about my service and how I earned this wonderful privilege, the mindset it took to serve as I did as well as what my Owner me asked about the changes He noticed but could not put into words. Yes, an Owner at a loss for words… .
It hit me. I had a change or I changed. The reasons as well as the way I serve just did a shift I never felt or expected. What happened is that I just dealt with it and moved on.
Please let me explain.
On day three or four, I was just about to start cleaning one of the guest rooms when Jackie came into his room. He looked at me and smiled. The only other person in the condo was Jason. he was in the living room talking to his girlfriend on the phone. Otherwise, it was just Jackie and me in the condo.
Jackie closed the door, sat on the bed and said that Jason Him that: “You could be naked if we wanted you to be. is that true?” I asked if He wanted me naked. He replied with a short, yet enthusiastic “hell yes”. Smiling, trying not to laugh, I removed my clothes as he had commanded. He sat on the bed and continued to watch me work with a big smile on His face..
As I went about my business nude, he started to ask questions. if I would suck his cock, would I let him to feel me up? I told him “Yes Sir” to everything he asked. That was my job. You tell me what you want and I can help you get it!
He quickly took off his clothes and lay back on the bed with a very erect cock and that wicked smile young men get when they think they have a conquest in their sights. I went to pick them up and fold them when he asked me to join him on the bed.
We were soon in the spooning position. On our sides. Him behind me. Talking the usual slave to new Dom stuff about obedience and sex and serving. Do I like it and why?? etc…. His hands were wrapped around me and playing with my nipples. I could feel that nice cock sliding between my legs, looking for its target.
He was also breathing heavy into my ear, petting my hair and saying nice, cute things to me as his cock kept slowly getting closer to my pussy and his hands squeezed my breasts in a soft and gentle way..
I was starting to feel weird. Not myself. That’s when it hit me. He was romancing me! He was doing things I don’t like having done unless you are my Owner. My husband. These are things you do with your girlfriend, your wife, not to a slave like me.
Some people are not going to understand this, but I was so deep in service mode, that I started to feel like I was being violated. Or I was violating my bounds to my Owner.
I was there to serve, to be of service, to be used. Not to be loved, pampered or idolized. I was there because my Owner sent me there to serve them. To complete a task. This was not serving, this was romancing and that is beyond my scope of service except to my Owner.
So I turned around, looking him in the eyes and asked to be used. Telling him in a very firm voice I didn’t know I had that I there to serve. To be of service. Do you want to fuck me? Fuck me. Want me to suck your cock, tell me to suck your cock. I will.” He knew there was no questions asked. Not to treat me like a girlfriend, i am there to serve. Like a hired girl with benefits! Whatever else you would like me to do, just tell me what you want me to do. But please don’t do “this” to me!
He set back, gave me a strange look I did not understand but he told me to roll on my back and spread the legs. In a firm voice !! He got on top and finally shoved that hard cock into my pussy. A little rough because I was not wet nor could I get wet being in that way. But he fucked me and we both really enjoyed it. He could really fuck me hard and He came with a lot of energy and force. It was wonderful to feel that all filling me up. .
The reason it never registered is that as soon as I had him cleaned up and dressed, Craig, the hockey player was walking into the room and wanting to change clothes before going to the strip. I excused myself from Jackie, thanked him and started back to my chores.
Not realizing I had found a limit. Something I want to enjoy just between my Owner and myself. Something I never had a problem with or never noticed before until now. I want to serve and to be used for the entertainment and approval of my Owner and his guests. But I also want the feeling of love and protection from my Owner to be real and enjoyed in our own special way.
My Owner can be rough, brutal and unforgiving. But when He curls me up into His arms and pets me while saying nice things in my ear, I know its Him and His love towards me. A special moment I want to keep special.
I love my Owner and want to protect Him. This is my way. I guess.
Does This Make Sense to anyone else??